Nothing Ain't Free~~~

First of all, the title has nothing to do with my feelings. At least, not the thing I care mostly.
I have been single for, ur, twenty some plus years. It's been a while, not long, but not short either.
EVER TIME when I saw COUPLES, it usually don't bother me, because I DON'T CARE.

However, everything changed recently. After I having my first time, everything just, ur, changed.
I like girls, and that's for sure. I am no gay, so it's pretty normal I like girls.
I just cannot get one. I don't know why, or, I just have no courage to face the reasons that keep me away from girls.
I believe, or, I am sure that i belong the second part.